Your smile was the first death in the family.

December 22, 2008 at 8:20 pm | Posted in writing | 1 Comment
Tags: , , , , ,

**I’m cleaning out my computer’s hard drive and I found a bunch of creative writing blergs from high school. They are mostly from sophomore and junior year.

Your smile was the first death in the family.

The last time I saw you smile, it was a Thursday night. I remember because you laughed at a dumb joke I told about Dick Cheney. I was particularly happy with myself because I made the joke up on my own. We were washing dishes and you were listening to me complain about corporate monopolies and the outrageous rise in Girl Scout cookies. Used to my pessimistic rants, you indulged me with a neutral shake of your head and passed me Mom’s X-Files mug to dry. There was still a smudge of cocoa on the bottom, but I put it back on the shelf anyway. Continue Reading Your smile was the first death in the family….

Advertisements

i am not having sex with my car. stop staring.

July 18, 2008 at 12:08 am | Posted in day to day | Leave a comment
Tags: , , ,

Toyota has some weird safety precautions.

Case: In my car the steering wheel locks (and the key won’t turn) as an apparent anti-theft maneuver. I have no idea what triggers the wheel to lock – only that it locks 1 in every 10 times I get into the car and I’m still not exactly clear which of the many things I end up doing is the magic act to release the thing. What seems to work is turning the wheel as far as possible left or right until the key turns.

Basically, this culminates in many scenes in which I’m stuck in a parking lot or a garage or a driveway rocking side to side over my wheel, grunting and perhaps growling interspersed with some cursing, sweating like a madwoman and in general looking like A) I am making wild cross breed love to a steering wheel  B) trying to steal my own car or C) the crazy person people go home to tell their friends about*. Continue Reading i am not having sex with my car. stop staring….

Blog at WordPress.com.
Entries and comments feeds.