i’ve a snuggie. now, for cultish doings.

February 20, 2009 at 10:29 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment
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My stepmom got me a Snuggie for Christmas. It’s a blanket with sleeves – or as some prefer: a bathrobe worn backwards. The snuggie is in the minority of late-night and early afternoon commericials selling “buy now and get X added for free!” products that made it big. How did a blanket with sleeves, originally marketed as a Slanket according to Wikipedia, make the jump from an absurd commercial to real life?

Good question.

This is a product whose commercial lauds it as a substitute for those pesky blankets that “tangle up your hands”  when you’re reaching for the phone.

Snuggies look more suited for couch potatoe cults, Halloween, sky diving. This parody commercial (of what they call the “WTF blanket” ) plays off the Snuggie’s wizardly structure.

When I tell people that I have a snuggie I get one of three reactions:

The WTF blanket: “I think you just lost status points.”

Hmm: “I don’t know how I feel about you having a Snuggie.”

Opposites Attract: “That’s so fucking dorky. You’re AWESOME.”

I’ve worn my snuggie on a few occasions. Ultimiately, it’s as a simple blanket. I don’t need the sleeve upgrade. It makes things complicated and now I sure as hell do get “tangled up”. At least it came with a book light.

My hallmates want me to wear it around town for a day. They want to document the day in a Snuggie. It has its uses.

Continue Reading i’ve a snuggie. now, for cultish doings….

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My vagina speaks for itself.

February 13, 2009 at 7:42 pm | Posted in opinion | 2 Comments
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Natalie Dylan, San Diego native, college student, virign, is selling her deflowerment. So far she’s got a 3.7  million dollar vagina.

Dylan – her pseudonym – claims she needs the money for grad school. The Bunny Ranch in Nevada (where prostitution is legal) is brokering the deal. Her virginity has been up for sale since September 2008. (Why she is using a pseudonym when her picture and hometown – tools it would seem any determined net surfer could use to find her real name – is a mystery).

The plight of Dylan’s viriginty has Americans and the media eagerly tossing out labels: this is a stunt, ingenious, entrepreneurially ballsy, degrading, illegal.

On January 23, 2009 Dylan spoke out through a letter published by the Daily Beast. Essentially Dylan asserts that this is a social experiment. Womens studies classes and college professors got her thinking that virginity is another concept invented by a patriarichal society to keep women in their place. Here is an excerpt:

Like most little girls, I was raised to believe that virginity is a sacred gift a woman should reserve for just the right man. But college taught me that this concept is just a tool to keep the status quo intact. Deflowering is historically oppressive—early European marriages began with a dowry, in which a father would sell his virginal daughter to the man whose family could offer the most agricultural wealth. Dads were basically their daughters’ pimps. Continue Reading My vagina speaks for itself….

I married a girl last night.

February 3, 2009 at 8:11 pm | Posted in humor | Leave a comment
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I woke up this morning heart beating out of my chest, anxiety whipping through my brain. 

Pre-wedding jitters. In a short time I was going to marry my long time neighbor, Nicole.

I woke up from this dream like a drowning swimmer breaking water. I opened my eyes just long enough to take a breath of reality and then the dream pulled me back under. Continue Reading I married a girl last night….

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