Your smile was the first death in the family.

December 22, 2008 at 8:20 pm | Posted in writing | 1 Comment
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**I’m cleaning out my computer’s hard drive and I found a bunch of creative writing blergs from high school. They are mostly from sophomore and junior year.

Your smile was the first death in the family.

The last time I saw you smile, it was a Thursday night. I remember because you laughed at a dumb joke I told about Dick Cheney. I was particularly happy with myself because I made the joke up on my own. We were washing dishes and you were listening to me complain about corporate monopolies and the outrageous rise in Girl Scout cookies. Used to my pessimistic rants, you indulged me with a neutral shake of your head and passed me Mom’s X-Files mug to dry. There was still a smudge of cocoa on the bottom, but I put it back on the shelf anyway. You gave me an update on Garret, The Stud in the Fifth Row of Period Three. He asked ….. I rolled my eyes at your memory and wound up to hit you with the dish towel. You anticipated me and splashed water in my face, making me miss my mark and snap the refrigerator. You smirked when Mom yelled at me, and you forgot to pay attention to the towel still in my hand. I had my sweet revenge when you let out a satisfying yelp. You smiled at me and promised that you would have vengeance. I remember having a hard time falling asleep that night. Your revenges were always awesome events. My mind was wired, debating all the possible ways you were going to try to get me back.

I don’t know why I remember that Thursday over all the other nights that we did the dishes together. I don’t know why you stopped smiling. I asked you once. You were reading Emerson. You ruffled the page tops with your fingertips and said nothing, smoothed over the last page and started the book from the beginning.

I bought that book of essays. It stands between C.S. Lewis and Cherry Ames.

When I lie in bed I am eye-level with its spine. I stare at the binding and wonder what it told you.


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  1. “When I lie in bed I am eye-level with its spine. I stare at the binding and wonder what it told you.”

    Kudos, kid.

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