The list: what to bring into the next world (College).

June 29, 2008 at 7:29 pm | Posted in school | 2 Comments

This is a basic list my mum and I put together to use when we get to Philadelphia for some serious College Survival Shopping before I move in to the dorms. I have it in Excel and a PDF so if anyone knows where to host those files so I can post a link rather than a printscreen, let me know. Thanks. If you want to print it out I can email you the excel file. If I update the list I’ll post an “EDIT” notificiation at the top of this post. (sorry, as you can see I’m having serious problems with sizing, but the links work fine).

A great extended list can be found at . Continue Reading The list: what to bring into the next world (College)….


On the soul & abortion, from the mixed up files of a high school classroom.

June 28, 2008 at 9:47 am | Posted in religion, school | Leave a comment
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You’d think that smile at a girl would be on Monday (before the approach). I’m not sure if this is an aspiring lesbian readying to jump right in before she chickens out, a man that writes SEX in block letters with a heart, or a woman trying to help her male friend out with a how to bag (an easy?) girl grocery list. Continue Reading On the soul & abortion, from the mixed up files of a high school classroom….

How to ace an abomb final: The poem that saved my high school honor roll career.

June 26, 2008 at 8:02 pm | Posted in school | Leave a comment
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1. A mulligan is a redo
2. Curiosity killed the cat; satisfaction brought it back.
3. Charon (Greek mythology) ferried the dead to the underworld.
4. Dresden was a German city firebombed to oblivion by the Allied forces in WWII

Curiosity Killed The Cat.

The little girl asked,
What is a planet?

Well, little girl, ask that club
that kicked out Pluto
like it was a drunk and bumming soul
that had no place in high society.

Science will balk,
but file a civil suit
and give Pluto back its class ring.
They are the bouncers that –
with their brass brains and reason –
stand outside the Earthbound arches
duck duck goosing answers of their choosing
to the common man
while we
Jane and John Doe
take our Flintstone vitamin C
and know what they want us to know.

Little girl ask, Who are they? Continue Reading How to ace an abomb final: The poem that saved my high school honor roll career….

Garage Sale + packrat compulsions = badbadbad

June 23, 2008 at 11:08 pm | Posted in day to day | 1 Comment

I’ve always loved garage sale surfing. People accumulate all kinds of random shit in a lifetime. On display for sale in our garage yesterday morning and a few things I’ve seen over my years of garage sale hopping: Ice cube shapers (to freeze ice in different shapes), suitcases dating back to grandpapa’s stop at Ellis Island, workout videos, craft scissors, a shelf’s worth of eyeglass cases, a ski case and no skis, whiffle golf balls, karate sparring gear, mouthguard (unopened). Continue Reading Garage Sale + packrat compulsions = badbadbad…

There is a bug in my house and I will FREAK OUT if I want to.

June 22, 2008 at 10:56 pm | Posted in day to day | 4 Comments

And this bug is huge. The “I lived at a nuclear plant and was bombarded with radiation which leads us to today where i am obscenely large, scary, leggy, and crawling on your walls” huge.

I have admitted before that shame shame everybody knows my name I am a girl and spiders creep me out. From a recent diary entry:

There is a spider in the downstairs bathtub. It is a quarter and a dime sized. It hasn’t moved in three days. I stare at it every time I go in that bathroom to pee. I have this thing about animals in bathrooms. Ever since I heard (saw?) that story about a woman that sat down on the toilet to pee and didn’t realize that a snake had crawled up through the sewer system and it was now staring at her ass. I am now paranoid about checking the toilet for all sorts of unexpected surprises. I also have this thing about spiders, but that is one of many pathetic qualities (this perhaps the most female of them) that I have woven into my character development. Continue Reading There is a bug in my house and I will FREAK OUT if I want to….

i see why some insects eat their young.

June 21, 2008 at 12:19 pm | Posted in day to day | Leave a comment
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Guess which child is me.

So it’s summer. Hot enough to make the hydro-squemish in me think seriously about cannon balling into the backyard pool. Summer enough that the Ducks, which for the second consecutive year mated birthed and defecated in our pool, have more or less left. 8 baby ducks this year to the delight or perhaps deep behind the glass frustration of my cat. Either way they didn’t last long. One suffocated under the pool cover (we took it off the next day) and presumably the 7 remaining were eaten by rival ducks. Nasty duck fight went down in our pool a few weeks ago. My mother’s the one thinking the ducklings became entrees. Continue Reading i see why some insects eat their young….

Wells Fargo is an alien transplantation and I love it.

June 20, 2008 at 11:59 pm | Posted in Random Thoughts | 1 Comment
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Rather than subject them to random drug tests, WellsFargo keeps its employees happily medicated on ecstasy and morphine.


WellsFargo is the first successful undetected (until now) alien workforce (not from mexico) functioning as human.


I have never walked into a WellsFargo (whether it be Bank or grocery store kiosk) and transacted with an angry/moody/disgruntled employee. Every person has been young, helpful, and smiles at a ratio much higher than that of the normal population. They’re also usually very attractive, perhaps a factor related to the constant shower of pleasantries. Continue Reading Wells Fargo is an alien transplantation and I love it….

Sucker punched by my cat.

June 20, 2008 at 11:41 pm | Posted in day to day | 2 Comments
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Since we got Banjo, the foster german shepherd pup, our kitten, Milo, has been acting like a toddler who got an unwanted baby brother. For a few weeks he refused to come downstairs, only to eat and even then we had to put his food on the top shelf of the desk. Mum found him drinking out of the toilets (blegh) upstairs and I kept finding poop outside of the litterbox in the office (he’s acting out).

Milo’s usually ok with dogs. He’s absolutely perfect with Maggie because she completely ignores him and him her. He’s ok with Molly, who likes to play but doesn’t antagonize him by following him around. He’s comfortable enough to sit on the couch while she lays next to it and he’ll lean down and SWAT at her tail (and then look innocently away as if to say “What? It was a passing breeze”). Continue Reading Sucker punched by my cat….

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